This piece would disabuse your mind before the big catch.

Why is the word ‘gentle’ associated with ‘man’ for some men and not for others? I’ve often wondered why some men are considered ‘gentlemen’ while others remain ordinary men. Is there any particular gene that makes this class of men opulent?   Does it really matter if one is gentle or not? And since when did “gentleness” become so importance to men?

These same questions have haunted me for quite some time now and it’s not unusual for me to think there are others out there with similar questions.
Vin Diesel puts it this way; “Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. But being a gentleman is a matter of choice” 

 Does it strike any chord in your awareness? 

You’ve not made a mistake to have clicked this link. Read to the finish as I share with you some well researched ideas of who a gentleman is and how you can also become one. Though data gathered in this piece is not absolute, it casts a shadow on and readily brings to fore some elementary traits of who an ideal gentleman should be. Whatsmore, ladies reading this can assess whether they are dating or have ever dated a gentleman. 
Sampled below are some opinions from respondents about what a gentleman should be like and this is what Portia F. has to say:

“A man can be defined as gentle when he is polite, respects people who don’t even respect him, apologizes even when he’s not wrong. A gentleman is responsible, God fearing and dresses well, speaks well in public and of good behavior. A gentleman is comfortable to be with, handsome within, ready to help, sociable and tolerant, hardworking and treats people equally no matter their race” 
Now let’s get started! Being gentle may not be any of the ‘personality images’ we hold in our minds and it’s the more reason this subject cannot be trivialized in our current dispensation.

Portia putting on her usual Splendiferous smiles

Let’s all face it. What makes a gentleman?

Many of the people i engaged revealed that this was a basic requirement. Thus, to be tagged a gentleman, you ought to have passed the hygiene test. So guys it’s time to get clean! Keeping clean doesn’t only have to be when you’re appearing for functions only. It encompasses a person’s total life (public and/or private). There’s a big misconception that cleanliness is the preserve of the women folk. This narrative ought to change. Cleanliness as a matter of truth us quite simple; bath regularly, smell good (some good perfumes and deodorants can do that), wash and iron clothes, keep a neat hair, one that is well brushed/combed and free from dandruff. This consequently does not only boost your self-esteem but also makes it possible for others to stay around you. 


It is baffling to see people desperately trying to be something or someone they are not and probably will never be even in the life after. Why waste your whole life by living a lie? No one has ever been awarded for imitating others but we see daily people being lauded for their ingenuity, their originality, their authenticity. Brother, be true to yourself.

We are all at our best when we live the life we were created to live. I feel so fulfilled sitting down to write. Why would you live your life just to satisfy someone else? 

Quit acting someone’s written script and begin to take charge! Be the protagonist of your life’s drama. I couldn’t agree more with Chris Haigh when he said “A man cannot be perfect, but striving towards the basic core of humanity and decency is what makes a gentleman, once you dig beneath the suits and the smiles. A true gentleman knows his limits and trying to stretch them, going further to both improve himself and to aid other people in whatever way he can.” 


Majority of the responses I got from my respondents repeatedly revealed that the issue of dressing cannot be underestimated. Every gentleman is not the same when it comes to dress culture but whatever the case may be, understand that your dressing is your identity. Workout for the type of body you want to live in, take a look at your physique in a mirror and you will realize you weren’t meant for all clothing. Get selective, go classic.

What about hairstyle? There’s one perfectly for you. Find it!


One other requirement every potential gentleman must sstisfy is to show kindness and respect to everyone around him. Kindness and respect are priceless attributes. Intangible as they may seem, they are ironically very loud and noticeable wherever they pop up. We could almost conveniently say, they are the additives to your personality. I am not necessarily referring to that casual ‘goodboy’ attitude we put up to please an audience. It’s nice to be nice period. 


It’s so sad how much we always want to be heard but do not take time to listen to what others have to say. My dear friend, it’s about time you stopped talking so much and started listening. That’s what real gentlemen do.

This may not be the perfect recipé but its a perfect place to start. It’s where your walk to being “gentle” begins. 

Worth the summary

So go on, take risks, challenge yourself and be the man you would want to see in others.

Don’t just be any man, be a GENTLEMAN!


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Doris marfo says:

    That’s a very nice piece… Well done…
    Seriously u doing a great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Linkon says:

    BEKS well done…. impressive


  3. Anonymous says:

    Nice work done……


  4. McAfui says:

    Nice piece…

    Liked by 1 person

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